1. you’ll probably never read it, but here it is


    the dots of red wine
    on your undershirt,
    actually my
    that I left at your place,

    they don’t suit you,
    your eyes are too
    you should be in
    business casual,
    leaning over the
    side of a ferry,
    as the sun


  2. PSA

    At the bar, a man looked at his friend and yelled “Dude, I would tear that ass up!” His friend replied with “I know man I would hit that hard.” This had me thinking, who the fuck came up with this shit?

    The euphemisms men use to describe sex with a woman are hideous and should be addressed. I can’t think of one that lacks the theme of violence.


  3. why are you sad kid

    why are you sad kid?
    with each step your heart
    trails behind, melting into
    the soil.

    your once full soul decreasing
    in volume every second, minute,
    month, and year.

    a brokenness no one is quite
    trained or specialized to fix.
    so the only option is to
    patch it up with doctors’
    prescriptions and self

    A heart once motivated to
    beat now regrets every
    blood cell coursing through
    those veins.

    and they love you so much
    yet you have lost all understanding
    of what that really means.

    All loved fogged by only a
    heavy tiredness, never fading

    why are you sad kid?
    if only you knew how much they
    really loved you.  


  4. I really want for you
    to think of me at 11:11
    and that’s all I can
    ask for.

    It’s midnight now and
    I am here wondering
    if you thought of me
    at 11:11.

    I think you did.
    You may not have.
    I am worried,
    I only wanted 
    one minute.

    It’s 4:00 a/m now and
    I won’t sleep

    I hope you did. 


  5. self-efficacy

    and so it seems,
    that my delicate lucidity
    is simply slipping someplace,
    lost within my childhood dreams.

    and so i feel myself eroding
    like a desperate father
    masquerading and
    drowning in his own loathing.

    and now i am certain,
    time is simply slipping away
    behind some beautiful blue curtain,
    tears forever full of
    this relentless and heavy burden.

    i am a tree that is idle,
    fruitless and weak,
    counting my leaves and
    dreaming of revival. 

    i still can hear your heartbeat
    and so i decide to fight sleep
    so I can keep it on repeat
    inside of our old bed sheets. 

    my heart longs to harmonize with you.
    my body yearns to touch you.
    forever haunted by the view of
    your eyes, perfect and blue.

    this is another poem for
    you my love;

    for you are the brightest star
    wherever I gaze above. 


  6. I hate when I think of you at 3 a.m.


  7. remember staying up
    for 73 hours
    and remember the
    way you looked
    into me when
    we finally came to
    realize that we were
    the last ones.

    we suddenly forgot;
    and the hunger finally


  8. Lonely Walk, Lonely Life; Change

    this is a true story

    My friend had just gotten his real girlfriend. He was so in love with her because he is such a fragile and beautiful person. His heart is so delicate and he gave it entirely to this girl. A few months into the relationship he had found out some tragic news. She had cheated on him.

    Clearly, she did not put nearly an equal amount of her heart into the relationship as my friend did. Well, soon after they had broken up.

    My friend was crushed. He gave this girl his whole heart and was totally in love after just a few months. It was his first girlfriend. He cried a lot the next few weeks and wanted to be alone.

    I talked to him one night and he decided that he would go for a long walk to clear his head a little bit. I offered company but was respectively declined, understandably so. 

    This was a sad walk for him. He cried the entire walk thinking of where he went wrong or what he could have done. In reality, he fell incredibly hard for this girl who did not feel the same love for him as he did for her. Yet still humans have this way of blaming themselves for just inevitable unbalances. 

    As he was walking down the street with his head down crying, he came across a group of girls. It was Friday night in a college town so they could have been drinking and they were most certainly spending the night out partying etc.

    My friend decided to walk up to the three girls. It was obvious to anyone that he was incredibly hurt and vulnerable. His heart was shattered and his soul could not help but be vulnerable.

    He started a conversation with the girls and told them he was in pain and was hurting. He was in need of a hug, so he asked the girls if they would hug him. He also asked them to tell him everything would be okay, even if they didn’t mean it. At this point he was desperate for a hug. He was crying and alone. And he was uncertain.

    The three girls began to laugh at him probably wondering why he was asking them for such tasks. He really just wanted to be okay or at least have a quick glimpse into a world without hurt.

    He was turned down by these three girls. They laughed and told him no. He only needed a hug and for one of them to tell him things would be okay and they didn’t even have to mean it.

    As he was turned down for a simple request to make him feel better, he fell into an even sadder state. He really was all alone that night. Three “party” girls would not even hug him. He became even more devastated and started to cry harder. 

    Why are humans living this way? If somebody needs a hug, please give them a fucking hug. If someone is crying for help, please fucking help them to the best of your ability.

    In this case, the girls laughed and said no.

    Humans really are fucking up. I know that if anyone needed a hug from me, I would be there. Even my worst enemy would receive a hug. I would look after my fellow human being and assure them everything would be okay. Laughing and making a mockery of someone so torn and bruised is a hideous thing to do. 

    Humans need to care for each other. Humans need to love one another. Humans need to hug. Humans need to console. Humans need to be there for other humans, no matter what.

    A simple act could have made such an impact on my friends emotional state that night, but he could not even get a hug. A fucking hug.

    When I heard this story my heart started to hurt. I started to realize that many humans won’t be there to help you for even the littlest things. I want to change that. I want humans to love and care and be there for other hurting humans, outside of just family and friends. They need to start developing empathy and start loving the beauty in life.

    Giving someone a hug is such an easy thing to do and can change everything about that moment for the person who desperately needs a hug. Please give other humans hugs. Please tell them it will be okay.



  9. classyasduck asked: The forever a child, forever in love poem is absolutely beautiful.

    /smile,hug,laugh, thanks so much. Nothing makes me feel better than somebody taking the time to read and truly connect with someone else’s writing. i love you. 


  10. forever a child, forever in love

    i remember you dressed in white
    sitting in my mother’s old
    rocking chair, 

    your smile was perfectly aimed
    into my eyes,
    i think.

    and i remember thinking so often
    how this is it,
    how she is

    and i remember the pure bliss
    tearing through my body
    because of you.

    and i remember that smile
    and the beauty that
    almost had me stop

    i knew this was good
    i knew this was right
    i knew this was forever

    when you left me I had
    no understanding of what
    that meant.

    i was a child 
    so in love.

    so in love and
    you were so beautiful

    i let you go free.

    something so beautiful
    deserves everything.
    I was not.

    we are still beautiful
    and we are still smiling.

    every smile aimed at 
    each other. 
    practice is perfect.

    we are still love
    and we are still forever,
    never fading.

    i was a child
    so in love.

    i was a child 
    so in love.

    i am a child
    so in love.

    forever a child
    forever in love


  11. vitium asked: i got completely lost in your blog!

    thank you for connecting and really trying to understand the way i feel and stuff. i love you. 


  12. the ghost comes at night

    I make a sprint to a near table
    and I hide.

    cities and people that I
    cannot understand.

    I wait and I try.
    I try to be better
    but I just need to

    It is 4:43 and snowing
    everything is beautiful.
    i am beautiful.

    the ghost comes
    at night.

    we are beautiful and
    we are fragile

    it is 4:53 and
    i want to hide.

    protect me from
    a dying innocence. 

    be beautiful with me
    be fragile with me
    and help me understand. 

    together we can be beautiful. 


  13. prescription failures

    Nobody can break through
    the zoloft.

    Only the touch of
    your skin can
    make me feel



  14. Cerulean

    cerulean eyes

    take me to

    because within
    is everything
    i need.

    cerulean eyes

    take me back
    to where nothing

    and inside those
    eyes, i can

    and be at peace
    knowing nothing
    and everything.

    i loved you so much. 


  15. Jellyfish

    i know we don’t talk anymore
    i know we don’t touch anymore
    and i’m sorry for the long text messages
    that i send you often. 

    I know you don’t respond to them
    and I don’t know if you even read them.

    It feels like one hundred jellyfish,
    loving me.

    I digress I digress 

    comfort can come in waves of
    energy. from different dimensions
    that no human can express, feel, or

    And that is you.

    And that is you

    This is my declivity.
    This is my way to
    expiate our love

    so I plead with my
    imagination to counterfeit
    a text message back
    from my love; you.

    just a few more times
    in hope of a chance to
    mitigate my own

    So please,
    when you happen across
    my name on that little
    pixelated screen,

    It is only because I need one thousand
    jellyfish to love me and

    i am almost there.